Go Back To The Abyss That Spawned You

1^st day back at work after a week’s leave. I didn’t really get a chance to relax. In fact, I felt quite stressed out cos there were lots of stuff going on at home, plus having my travel plans disrupted and being called up by colleagues almost everyday with work related stuff kinda spoilt it somewhat. However, I did have some fun hanging out with my good friends. Thus I started the day actually feeling fresh, like I was ready to handle anything the bloody clinic could throw at me. Besides the paperwork that has piled up in my absence, there was also the mess that my colleagues had managed to create in terms of stocks and clients’ medication & food orders. I took it in stride. After all, I had expected it somehow. I found that I was coping fine. That was until I took the call from the Piece of Crap (POC) that hell rejected and spat out.

The telephone conversation went like this:

POC: Hello. My cat has been bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt… (Very heavy accent that I couldn’t understand her.) … bzzt bzzt bzzt… so I was wondering how much you charge for removing the claws from her hind legs.

Me: I’m afraid we do not declaw cats unless it’s due to some infection of something that is life threatening.

POC: No you do not understand. My cat has seen over 10 vets and it hasn’t been cured. There’s no way to fix it. She’s scratching so badly that there’s an open wound on her neck. She has been in a e-collar for over a year and she hates it.

Me: Well if that’s the case we’ll have to have a look at your cat before we can come to any conclusions as to what kind of procedure is really suitable for her.

POC: My cat has been going to you guys for over a year and she’s still not cured.

Me: May I have your cat’s details so that I can have a look at the medical records then?

(She gives me the cat and her details and I pull up the cat’s medical records.)

Me: According to our records, your cat has only been to see our vet once in January this year. After that, you came to buy medications twice without your pet.

POC: That’s strange. I definitely brought in my cat several times.

I did a search of her address and (surprise surprise) it came up with only ONE file. So that removes the possibility of a duplicate account being created.

Me: I’m afraid I don’t have any other records of your cat’s visits. All our consultations are recorded in the computer system.

POC: Well my cat has not gotten better and the medicines do not help.

Me: It says here in the instructions printed on your receipt that your cat was supposed to come back for a review a month after the first visit if the condition doesn’t improve.

POC: That is very strange because I my cat is not getting any better and it is scratching itself very badly. There is an open wound at the neck because of the scratching. The only way would be to remove the claws so that it doesn’t injure itself any more.

(I looked through the records of her cat’s first visit again and found that the vet suspected it could have been a food allergy that has been causing her cat’s skin problem. The vet also recommended a strict food trial to detoxify the cat. I informed the POC about that and she insisted that her cats are all on the special diet as instructed by the vet. I then looked through her other cat’s medical records (dated sometime after January) and guess what? It also has a skin problem. And it appears that she told the vet that her cats are on Friskies. Yah right special diet my ass.

She then proceeded to blab non stop about the cat being itchy and about the open wound and the fact that she has seen 10 different vets and the cat is still not cured. She kept going on and on, expecting me to give her a solution over the phone while I kept telling her that she should bring her cat in for a review of her condition. She finally went:

POC: Are you a vet?

Me: No. I’m not.

POC: I want to speak to a vet.

Me: I’m afraid the vet is in the middle of a consult but if you like I can get him to call you later once he has time to do so.

POC: You do that.

AND SHE HUNG UP ON ME!

I HATE PEOPLE HANGING UP ON ME!!!

Then right after that. While I was typing the gist of the conversation into the computer for the vet to have a look, the phone rang and I picked it up. The call went like this:

Me: (Usual greeting) Afternoon, etc etc etc…

Idiot: WHO’S THIS?

Me: *stunned* This is Julian speaking. May I know who’s on the line please?

Idiot: Julian… Julian… never heard of you. Anyway my dog hor, Golden Retriever. How come got smell wan? What is causing it ah?

CAN SINGAPOREANS SINK ANY LOWER IN TERMS OF COURTESY?

At least the idiot became more polite as the conversation progressed but by then I had already mentally written her off as a moronic piece of toilet paper.

Then… about half an hour later, this stupid woman (SW) came into the clinic to buy some prescription cat food.

SW: I’m here to buy some cat food.

Me: Did you place an order with us?

SW: (Looks at me like I’m a moron) Har? Canned food also must place order wan meh?

Me: (Thinking: Duh… you never say wat. How was I supposed to know?)

So I proceeded to get her the amount of cans she wanted and charged it up.

Me: That’ll be fourteen dollars in total.

She hands me a $50 note. I have nothing but $50 notes in the till and I already forked out 30 bucks from my own pocket in change up till then.

Me: I’m sorry but do you have the exact amount? I’m afraid I do not have change for $50.

SW: Har? I don’t have. What you expect me to do?

Me: (Feeling my eyelid twitching) Would you like to pay by card instead? We accept NETs and Credit Cards.

She hands me her NETs card and gives me a very black look.

I’ve decided to submit my resignation tomorrow. There’s only so much one can take. I officially hate my job.