Kids

I am finally over my blasted Flu!!! Was feeling so miserable over the past week. Actually felt cold in my room and at work when usually I’ll be the one complaining of the heat when my colleagues are shivering.

Spent the day… well half the day at the beach today with Weng, She She and Kimmie. We skated (Kimmie cycled) the entire length of East Coast Park. I think there’s something wrong with my Rollerblades. Seemed like there was an immense amount of friction against me. Maybe it’s the post flu weakness or maybe I just need to change my bearings.

The beach was so crowded today. There were pesky kids and stupid inconsiderate cyclists stopping in the middle of the cycling track to wait for friends, to talk or to god knows do what. One lady just stopped with her bike perpendicular to the track, totally blocking it, causing an inline skater to swerve and come crashing into me who was standing innocently on the grass by the track eating my Paddle Pop ice-cream. Thank God I didn’t drop the ice-cream or there would have been hell to pay. Of course I can’t wield the same (un)holy power that Dr *** is so good at but I can give a mean dirty look.

While having a break from skating, we were observing 3 kids who were enthusiastically riding their bikes through a large puddle of muddy water in the middle of the bicycle track. They were having so much fun that they didn’t realize that they were splashing muddy water onto others passing by. No one bothered to stop them as it was really too crowded and chaotic so all they got were dirty looks. All the time, I was standing there mentally willing their bikes to overturn and throw them into the stupid puddle but I guess the blasted training wheels attached to their bikes thwarted my plans. Thus, I had to content myself with watching as their hind wheels spun up more and more muddy water onto their t-shirts with each pass they made through the puddle and hope that they get into trouble with their parents for that.

Speaking of kids, just the other day at the clinic, this stupid kid was jumping up and down in front of the clinic door making weird noises at a dog in the clinic. As expected, the dog went crazy barking at the moronic evolutionary regressed idiot. The kid’s maid just stood beside him and looked uninterested. After 10 seconds, I walked over to the front door, yanked it open and told the kid to cut it out. He stood there staring at me as though I was speaking in an alien tongue. The maid also had this spaced out expression on her face and after another 10 seconds of staring at me blankly, she pulled the kid along with her as though nothing happened.

I really wonder if the government is doing the right thing with their baby bonuses and other baby popping schemes. People are encouraged to have kids that they are unable to provide adequate attention for. After their maternity leave is over, they hand over their kids to foreign maids who are mostly young and inexperienced in dealing with Singaporean brats. Hell, most of the maids in Singapore aren’t even allowed to have sex in this country, leaving them with the hassle of child care (all the unpleasant bits which Singaporeans doesn’t want) without the pleasure (debatable) of sex. Spending most of their childhood under the care of a maid (In some households a series of maids), one can imagine the kind of upbringing these kids will get. Thus our future generations of Singaporeans grow up spoilt, clueless and devoid of any common sense whatsoever. Of course, this is just in my humble and ignorant opinion.

Speaking of upbringing, I would like to share an interesting encounter I had while walking my dogs some time back. It was a weekday afternoon and I was walking with Donkey and Backside to the beach. Now there is an overhead bridge near my place which has no steps to allow wheeled contraptions such as bicycles and wheelchairs etc to be pushed across. So there I was walking with the two idiots on leashes and as I started up from the bottom of the bridge, this lady with two young kids was just about to start her descend from the top of the bridge. As soon as she saw my dogs (mostly donkey I suspect), SHE STARTED SCREAMING AS THOUGH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BE MURDERED! Not that I want to brag but usually the reaction I get towards Duncan would be along the lines of “So beautiful” and for Perseus “So cute!”. Thus this was completely new to me. After the initial shock at her reaction, I started to feel embarrassed as she refused to move from her spot. I stood aside, pinning donkey and backside to the bridge grills but she just refused to budge. As I was already halfway up, I decided to continue past the screaming banshee quickly to solve the issue. As I got nearer, I noticed that the 2 kids were crying (you would too if your mum could hit such high pitches right next to you). The lady then paused for 1 second and swiftly squashed her kids against the railing before carrying on her impression of a helpless blonde dangling from the top of a skyscraper in the death grip of a giant ape. As soon as I hurried past them, she quickly grabbed her kids and ran for their lives down the bridge. Great lesson to teach your kids lady.

Think I’ll give fatherhood a miss.

Me Sick... But Still Can Gripe!

I had a bad sore throat yesterday. It started when I woke up in the middle of the night and persisted... no worsened when I got up for work. By lunchtime, I was in agony. I went down to the pharmacy during lunch and got myself a box of Difflam lozenges but it didn't help much. Upon Mei's advice, I drank lots of warm water... WHICH HELPED!... for about 1 minute. Plus it kept making me run for the toilet. For lunch I had some bee hoon soup. All the while I kept thinking about the yummy brown rice at the vegetarian store…

Anyway, last night it got really bad so I decided to… EAT HAAGEN DAZS! A few spoonfuls of Rum and Raisin ice cream followed by a gulp of Pipagao and guess what??? I’m feeling much better this morning!!! Ha ha. Better go stock up on ice cream.

GRIPE TIME

Anyway, there was this stupid lady who called up in the morning saying she couldn't find the entrance to our clinic. Now our main entrance opens in an area of the complex that operates only in the afternoon. Thus we don't open our main doors till after lunch. We have a side door however, that is accessible from within the main part of the complex. However, it is tucked away in a corner and is not very prominent. That’s why we usually ask clients to make an appointment so we can tell them how to get into the clinic in the mornings. The conversation I had with her went something like this:

Client: Hello? How do I get into your clinic har? I’ve tried all the entrances (to the closed area) and they are all closed.

Me: All the main entrances only open in the afternoon at 12. To get to our clinic… (gives directions)

Client: Ah… Ok. I want to make an appointment.

*WARNING!!! DANGER!!!* (Cue sirens)

Me: Appointment for when? (Suspicious)

Client: Now. I’m almost reaching the clinic.

Me: (Dying in the wave of stupidity)

Why doesn’t Singaporeans understand that appointments are made in advance and not 1 minute before you step into the clinic? I have a few clients that simply refuse to make appointments but will just come in as walk-ins. Ok I understand that some times they can’t predict their busy busy schedules and some of the clients are quite nice so I let that pass. However, a hand few of these perpetual walk-ins will always try to cover up their walk-in status by calling up as they are on the way to the clinic and then arriving and announcing:

“I tried calling for an appointment but you guys had no space”

Some even have the audacity to say that they called earlier on in the morning but we didn’t pick up the phone. I usually ask them for the time they called and surprise surprise! They called in the morning way before we opened for business.

What’s worse is that some of them simply have no patience. The waiting time at our clinic can be quite bad I agree but that’s because it’s all dependant on the complexity of the cases being seen. Plus our clinic’s philosophy is that we do not rush through our cases. For example, an animal coming in for a vaccination will not be a “jab and go” thing. Our vets will want to talk to the client, to find out some history about their pet, to ascertain that the animal is truly healthy and properly taken care of. We also do a full body checkup. For something as simple as a vaccine injection, some other clinics take barely 5 minutes but we can take up to an hour. That’s because sometimes, we do find something wrong with the animal i.e. an ear infection which had gone unnoticed with the owner. So we end up with tests to identify the cause as well as time taken to explain to the owner how to treat and do preventive maintenance.

Some clients do not understand this. To them, it’s just an injection. How long could it take? Thus we get lots of people walking in to “book an appointment now for an injection”. They then get fed up after waiting 30minutes and start making things difficult for the reception by asking repeatedly how much longer it will take. Of course we can’t answer questions like that. How do we know? Do we look like bloody psychics?

Our practice believes in education, not only for our staff but for our clients as well. We share interesting cases (and irritating clients) within the practice and our boss occasionally gives us lectures on various topics from simple stuff like disinfecting & cleaning to more complexed ones like the different kinds of disease and ailments we might encounter, some of which we may not even come across at the outlying clinics. Our staff has to be knowledgeable about things like these so as to be able to answer simple questions by clients as well as to know the logic behind our methods of practice.

Coming back to waiting time, some of my friends, even ex-lecturers and relatives have brought their pets to the clinic where I work to see the vet. Most of them had to wait. Now you see, my vets are very impartial when it comes to stuff like this. Their opinion is that being a friend or relative doesn’t mean that you get priority. In fact, one of my senior vets actually made her visiting sister from overseas wait an hour just to say “Hi”. With a precedent like that, who are we to do otherwise?

So my advice to my pet owning friends is, don’t come to us unless you are willing to wait and pay more (Our practice is the most expensive from the feedback I get). Don’t expect special privileges. We do not get much even as staff. Also, don’t ask me for advice. I AM NOT A VET. I can only tell you to go see one.

More Gripes from the Service Industry.

I seem to be getting very stressed out at work lately. Not a day passes in which I have an enjoyable day at work. I'm resorting to drinking tons of coffee to stay hyperactive so as to prevent myself from screaming at clients. If I could drink alcohol, I'd have a bottle of whatever stashed away at the recept.

It's so difficult to do admin at work when your "office" happens to be at the reception desk. When you are trying to organize your thoughts and paperwork, you keep getting distracted by meaningless phone calls and people coming in the bloody door. The phone calls seem endless. Most of the time, you get another call coming in halfway through the first.

I really hate the phone. It started with my job at Hong Leong Finance when the phone rings from morning till night with people screaming at you for repossessing their cars. Not like I'm doing it for fun you know. You get financing for a car, make sure you bloody pay up your installments as agreed in the contract. Otherwise, take the bloody public transport.

Anyway, I've stopped answering the phone at home since about a year ago. The calls are never for me anyway and those that are usually are unsolicited telemarketing idiots who ought to be eaten up by bugs like in the movie Constantine. God. How I laughed in glee when that happened. But I digress...

Sometime during our lunch break, I was sitting out at the recept trying to do my weekly budget analysis when I heard the door being pushed. It made a lot of noise because it was locked. (We were closed). I ignored it because I was in the middle of working out an excel formula. I could tell by the sound of their voices that it was a group of people. One of them was telling the rest that the clinic was closed until 2pm. Another then read aloud a sign I put up on the door to say that "ENTRY BEFORE 12pm WAS BY THE BACK DOOR" (It was about 1.30pm). I then heard the group leave and the next thing you know, someone was enthusiastically trying the back door which was also locked. The group then trooped back to the front door muttering among themselves about how strange it was that they couldn't get into the (CLOSED) clinic. Eventually, the entire group (of Secondary school students) gathered by the huge glass window beside the recept counter and started knocking on the glass to get my attention. I shot them the most evil glare I could (No coffee yet) and then stomped my way out via the back door to answer the stupid bimbo ah lian's question about how she suspects her dog may be pregnant and if the vet can tell.

From that and other previous experiences, I feel that the ministry of education should seriously introduce another subject into the school syllabus. COMMON SENSE!

Later that day, this middle aged mandarin speaking couple came in to the clinic in the afternoon and told me that they had trouble applying the eye drops we prescribed onto their spitz. Now there are some breeds of dogs that I simply cannot stand and the bloody Spitz ranks among the top few. They are mostly aggressive bitey buggers who are kept mostly by bloody idiots who do not socialize or train them. Anyway, the stupid mutt in question had an e-collar on so that gave me an advantage over it. So there I was interrupted in my work, smiling and explaining to the clients how to hold the dog (I was actually in a good mood. Thanks Caffeine!) and how they had to work together with one person holding the dog and the other quickly applying the medication. They were like total idiots who didn't even dare touch their own dog because they are afraid of getting bitten. Ok. Fine. So I tried to apply the eye drop myself and because the two owners were so totally inept, I got myself a fresh scar on my left arm from the bloody dog's incessant struggling and clawing. Finally, I gave up and asked Mei to help me apply the drop while I held the dog for the owners to see. The lady (standing quite a distance away) suddenly said (very casually) to me:

[Translated from Mandarin]

"Oh the dog is peeing on you."

After that, I kinda lost it. I started telling the owner that they have to train their dog and they have to socialize their dog more or they are going to have a lot more difficulties with it. They just smiled and nodded but I could see by the look in their eyes that I was like an alien spouting rubbish and they just wanted me to get the job over and done with. So I decided to shut up. The dog had 2 eye drops to be given 15mins apart so I told them to come back in 15mins so I could help them apply the second drop. They never came back and they left without a word of thanks or apology.

Think it's time to call it quits.

Please don't come back. PART 3

As promised, here's the second super idiot.

CASE 2 - The Scene Maker

This happened about a month back. This client (Let's call her LaPuta) called up on a Sunday afternoon. Now Sundays are our most busy day of the week. Besides the perpetually fully booked appointments, we also have a whole barrage of walk-in clients. Most of the time, we barely have time to go even go visit the pee pot. So LaPuta called up five minutes after 12 (We close the clinic from 12 to 2). I happened to be doing some work at the counter and out of habit, picked up the phone when it rang. I was mentally cursing myself when this shrill voice told me she wanted to see the vet today as her cat's cast has come off. I told her that we are closed till 2 and that our appointments are already full for the day but if she doesn't mind waiting, she could come in as a walk-in when we reopen and join the queue.

*Picture atomic bomb exploding*

LaPuta immediately blew her top! SHE LITERALLY STARTED SCREAMING OVER THE PHONE!

LaPuta: I REFUSE TO WAIT! I WANT TO SEE THE VET NOW!

Me: I'm afraid the vet is out for lunch. If you want to see the vet at this time, there'll be an after hours charge and even then it'll take time for the vet to come back from where she is.

LaPuta: You cannot charge me for this. My cat saw your vet (another branch) yesterday and when I got home the cast was off (Her bloody cat chewed the cast off because she refused to put an e-collar on). IT IS A SURGERY GONE WRONG!

Me:Sometimes animals do remove their casts themselves because they find it uncomfortable, plus we can't make it too tight or it will restrict blood flow to their limb.

LaPuta: ... You cannot make me wait. It is a SURGERY GONE WRONG!

Me: I'm afraid that unless it's a life or death situation, we can't make those with appointments wait just to squeeze you in.

LaPuta: You shouldn't have appointments! It is such a stupid system!

Me: ... (Stunned silence) Well, I'm afraid if you really want to see the vet today, you'll have to wait.

LaPuta: I refuse to wait! I already waited so long at (other branch) yeaterday and in the end, it was an OPERATION GONE WRONG!

Me: Please be reasonable. Even if you go to a hospital A&E you still have to wait, we are only a small... (Got cut off)

LaPuta: Rubbish! I work at a hospital. You cannot lie to me. We don't make people wait at A&E.

Me: ... (Stunned silence)

LaPuta: If you make me wait, I'm going to make a scene!

Me: ... (Even more stunned) Well, if that's what you want to do, you'd be making a scene for yourself.

LaPuta: No! I'll make a scene for the clinic!

Me: ... (WTF?) Well... if that's the way you want to do it, there's nothing I can do.

LaPuta: (sound of paper flipping) Let me see, who's your company director... Dr (My boss's name)... Let me have his number.

Me: I'm afraid I can't give out his personal contact number. If you wish to complain, you can lodge a formal complain by writing in.

LaPuta: I'm going to do that!

*Hangs up on me*

Let me just add that this happened the very next working day after the Ninnehnehde incident. (See Part 2)

Well, LaPuta eventually went to our other branch where the cat's leg was re-casted without charge on instructions of the vet who did it the first time round. She was asked to put an e-collar around the cat's neck but she refused again. She called up that branch that night and spoke to the vet, who wrote down the gist of the conversation in the cat's computerized records. The cat chewed off the cast again despite the 2nd cast being extended up to the elbow (It was a toe fracture).

*sigh*

Please don't come back. PART 2

The last post got me thinking about some of the other super idiots I've encounted and I just simply have to share 2 of those encounters.

TRUE SINGAPORE HORROR STORIES

Case 1 - The Right Hand of God

There's this woman (Let's call her "NinNehNehDe) who helps feed and "protect" stray dogs. She's some kind of doctor (Identifies herself over the phone as "This is Dr ***) and she goes to the same church as my boss. She somehow managed to worm a deal out of him to let her do sterilizations for female dogs at 100 bucks (Normal cost of a medium sized dog = $260). She actually brought a dog down to another of our branches and the vet found that the dog was sick (Tick fever if I remember correctly). So the dog was not sterilized and instead treated for its illness. That Ninnehnehde made a big fuss out of it when she found out and scolded the vet, insisting that the dog was not brought in to be treated and so she refused to pay the (super discounted) cost of treatment.

After that bad experience, my colleagues at the other branch grew weary of her and she suddenly called up at the branch I work and demanded the same terms for sterilization, saying it was agreed by my boss. I of course had never heard of such an agreement and so checked with my boss. He of course denied he ever agreed to such an agreement and to cut long story short, she was finally given the go ahead to bring her dogs in to our clinic. We were warned to do only surgery and nothing else without first informing her.

The very first batch of dogs that came in, one of them was actually bleeding from her vulva and upon examination, we discovered that the dog had a cancerous growth in her vagina. The surgery was thus aborted and we called that Ninnehnehde to let her know. Instead of thanking us, that Ninnehnehde actually told us off and insisted that we carry on with the surgery as she doesn't want to bear the cost of doing anything else. Our vet refused saying that the dog is a very bad candidate for surgery in her current condition but that Ninnehnehde kept insisting saying that she's willing to take the risk. (Of course lah. It's not your life or your vagina at stake what...) Our vet then held her ground and that Ninnehnehde became verbally abusive and got louder and louder. We called our boss to complain and he gave the go ahead to ban her from the clinic if she continues to treat us like that. In the end, she reluctantly agreed to have the dog treated, well she actually insisted that we give the dog chemotherapy on the spot. WTF! We didn't even carry the bloody drug! So we refered the dog to our other branch and officially banned her from our branch. Henceforth, she couldn't bring her animals to our branch for discounted procedures.

After a couple of months, that Ninnehnehde actually called me up at the clinic. What a transformation! Not only was she civil, she was actually polite! She said that she wanted to book in a $100 spay at our branch cos the dog lives in the area. I of course told her (politely) that she would have to pay full price for surgery at this branch and that the agreement was for her to go to our other less busy branches for such discounted procedures. She was quite persistant and in the end I told her that I couldn't make that decision to allow her to do so on my own and that I'll discuss it with my vet before getting back to her. My vet of course refused to deal with her so I called her back to let her know that our stand remains unchanged.

*Cue Transformers Theme Song* [Transformers! More than meets the eye!]

Her tone and attitude changed so fast that the speed of a camera shutter pales in comparison. She immediately started accusing me of being heartless and she actually said to me

"Just know that you will be punished in your afterlife."

Wow! I didn't know she actually wielded such holy power that I will be punished in my afterlife for not giving her a discount. Must be the 8th deadly sin. Moses must have already started down the mountain when God said "Oh wait... And Thou shalt give Ninnehnehde a big discount. Write that down!". So I paused for about 1 second, smiled to my reflection in the computer screen and told her "Thank you but I'm probably going to hell anyway." To which she replied:

"Just know that what goes round comes around"

and she hung up on me (Something she's rather fond of doing).

She's banned from our branch completely now.

What goes round comes around bitch. You said so yourself.

Thank you for coming! Please don't come back!

ARGH!!!!! Some people just drive me fuming mad!!!!!
There was this client today who came in with her dog. Can't remember what it was she came in for but sometime during the consult, she made a request for the dog's nails to be trimmed.
(Some people just can't seem to do it themselves cos they spoilt the dog so rotten that they cannot control it.)

Anyway, the dog proved to be one of those who simply hates getting it's nails cut and tries to claw you to bits during the process. [Freshly cut nails + Scratchy dog = Multiple lacerations on nurse.]
To to cut a long story short, my colleague got "tattooed" by the dog and we of course charged her for nail clipping (14 bucks).

Well, her total bill came up to about $200+ cos it involved lotsa medications. The client (I'll refer to her as "Tamade" from here on) paid with her AMEX GOLD CARD and left. A couple of hours later, she called up the clinic and insisted on knowing why we charged her for the nail clipping. i told her that she requested for the nails to be trimmed so we charged her for performing a service. She then said that we should have told her we would be charging her as she would rather go next door to have it done at the groomers' for 10 bucks. She also said that the other vets she go to (VET HOPPER... tsk tsk tsk) doesn't charge her for it. She then went on ranting about how it costs SO MUCH MORE ($4) to have it done with us. I of course held my ground as my colleague was a scratching post for that Tamade's dog and 14 bucks barely seems worth being subjected to such treatment by someone who clearly can afford it. So that Tamade demanded to speak to the vet.

According to my vet, the Tamade was insisting that she mearly asked her to clip her nails as a favour so she shouldn't have charged her... *Head spinning* Wow! Thank god it was just a nail clipping... imagine if she asked us to perform surgery for her dog as a favour...

So anyway, that Tamade then insisted on a refund of the nail clipping charges but my vet (Good for her) stood her ground and insisted that it was a service performed and rightfully charged. That Tamade then threatened to bring the matter up to CASE. Wah!!! Go ahead man!!! That would have been really interesting! Well after another 15 minutes of haggling, my vet managed to pacify her with the promise of a FREE NAIL CLIPPING the next time she comes in. The things some Singaporeans will do for freebies... Hope she doesn't come back. (Though she might cos she has a free nail clipping...)

Is our society advancing too fast for its people who still have a third world mentality?
(Must hoard whatever I can get!!! Must get more for less!!!)

All About Duncan!

Today's blog will be dedicated to Duncan for being such a brave and selfless boy.

Duncan just went to donate blood to help another dog which required a blood transfusion. This is actually the 4th time he has donated blood. He has type 1.1 Negative blood which I was told is the canine equivalent of a universal blood group.

Anyway, there he was, sleeping hapilly with his ol'buddy Backside when the call for help came in.
Then before you know it, he was at the vet being sedated.
It all happened in a couple of hours and before you know it, he's now back at home, fast asleep.

While he was there, he had a nice time exploring the clinic, sniffing at every nook and corner. That's of course till She She and Darlene came screaming and cooing to hug him, which scared him shitless. ha ha ha. He had this look of terror on his face when he was held in their individual "lock of love". ha ha ha

Meanwhile, I was on the prowl for food. I wanted to buy the yummy egg tarts and flat cake from the shop next door but they didn't have any! So I ended up with three doughnut balls. Debbie was back from her extended vacation and she brought with her some yummy candy including the famous Blackpool Rock (Which I forgot to take!!! ARGH!!!).

I was also playing with this kitten called Monster who was SOOOO ADORABLE!!! Apparrently she was running across the road when the traffic lights changed and she just froze in the middle of the road, stopping a car. Then she decided to hide on the wheel of the car, preventing it from moving off. So the owner decided to keep it after much difficulty in extracting it (with the help of some passing policemen).

Backside is now hovering protectively around Donkey. Think he wants to play but Donkey is just too exhausted and wants to sleep instead. Ha ha. Backside just gave up and is now sleeping beside Donkey.





Alright. It's time to get back to studying. Need to memorise the bloody Kreb's Cycle and the Electron Transport Chain for Molecular Cell Biology Exam tomorrow.

Au revoir est merci pour tous les poissons!