EEEYUCK!!!

I had a damn gross night man… (well… gross by my standards.)

I was ¾ of the way through with my 1hour bus ride home from school when this uncle got on the bus and plonked down on the seat right in front of me. Within seconds, his smell wafted right over and slammed straight up my nostrils. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE I DONNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT. If I really had to, here’s how it would be.

Take a person who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Assume he eats (and sweats) loads of vinegar.

Multiply that by a few hours in the sun.

Incubate that for a few hours in a humid environment.

Garnish generously with sweat and other skin secretions.

Serve warm.

Initially, I thought that I could bear with it as I was almost home. Then I started getting nauseous. It started with slight giddiness. I tried filtering the air through my slightly Hugo Boss scented handkerchief but it was not working. Through the reflection of the window, I could see the lady seated behind me doing something similar.

Then the guy started coughing. Without covering his mouth. His head was held up so whatever microscopic projectiles and saliva went straight to the poor guy sitting in front of him. Everytime that guy coughed, I see a slight reaction from the guy in front of him. He was clearly being polite in not moving away but you can tell he is damn disgusted as he was trying to shift his whole body as far forward in his seat away from the smelly cougher. As you can imagine, he didn’t really move far.

By the time the bus arrived at PP, I was on the verge of throwing up. So I made a dash out of the bus into fresh air. I then took another bus home. Thank god the buses there all go past my place.

That’s one thing. Here’s another.

I got into the lift at my block and as soon as the door closed, I saw this LIZARD in the lift with me!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate lizards. They creep me out. I had a bad experience when I was a kid.

*FLASHBACK*

I was at my aunt’s house and I was walking through a doorway (between rooms. Not between dimensions) when this stupid freakin' lizard that was hanging out (literally) above the door frame decided to us me as a stepping stone en-route to the floor.

I didn’t even see it but I felt in land on my shoulder. Even before I could figure out what was happening, it darted into my t-shirt through my collar, took a freakin’ long, winding route down my back and then I heard the horrible slaping sound as it landed on the floor and scurried away.

Thank god my shirt wasn’t tucked into my pants.

*END FLASHBACK*

Now, whenever I see a lizard, my skin crawls and I feel super disgusted.

So there I was in the lift, face-to-face with this lizard. My immediate reaction was to squash myself against the opposite wall. Throughout the entire ascend to the 16^th floor, I kept my eyes on the foul beast. Daring it to come near me. I was armed with a large A4-sized envelope containing some publication which I just got out of the mail box and I was prepared to use it in a fight to the death.

The devil’s spawn was black in colour. With light bands on its tail. The only thing that went through my mind was a vision of Ian McKelly as Gandalf the grey in the Lord of the Rings facing off against the Balrog and screaming “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”. I was so wishing for a wizard… hell I would have been satisfied for anybody to stand between the foul reptile and me.

After what seemed like an eternity, the lift jerked to a stop and the doors opened. Now that’s the most dangerous moment. As soon as you made a move, lizards tend to like to strike and at that moment, an open doorway and a lizard was not exactly the best combination of nice things to have for me.

Precious seconds ticked by and I knew that if I didn’t make my move, the doors would close and I would be trapped in the lift with the lizard. The thought of that gave me the adrenalin I needed and I dashed out of the lift just as the door closed behind me.

I then spent the next 30 seconds shuddering, shaking myself and jumping around in the lift lobby to make sure that the bloody thing hadn’t jumped on me while I was making my light speed exit.

How I managed to get through my jungle field camp in the army is a mystery.

On an entirely not so related note, I have decided to take a leaf from Mei, who has been introducing the books she is currently reading, on her blog. In my case, I'll do the current game I'm playing. Heh heh heh.

Now Playing: Monster Hunter Freedom (PSP)

This game is fantastic! Great graphics! Very challenging! Super adrenalin rush!

You play this hunter in the middle-ages like setting accepting quests to slay monsters such as Dragons, Velociraptor look alikes and other giant lizards (Ha! Take that you bloody reptile!) and Bird-like monsters.

You get to upgrade your weapons and armour from rewards as well as from literally carving up parts from your fallen prey.

I haven't really gotten very far in the game as I'm really scared to proceed. Ha ha. So I'm running around re-doing earlier quests in the hopes that I can get enough materials to get really good armour and weapons.

The last major quest I did involved stealing an egg from this Wyvern (Some kind of Dragon). Apart from avoiding a direct confrontation with the HUGE T-Rex with wings, I had to lug the bloody egg back (which slows you down considerably) with a pack of Velociprey (Some kind of raptors) at me heels. My heart rate actually reached a point where it took me about an hour to calm down after I finished the quest (thankfully). This game shows lots of potential for replay-ability and is at the same time quite challenging. (Well... for now anyway.)

I paid SGD$68 for this game but I'm sure you can get it cheaper if you look around. Highly recommended! Not for the faint hearted or people with any form of heart condition though.

Let me know if anyone knows any *cough*cheats*cough*.

Hee hee.