Interview 101

How to piss off a potential employer. Tips from actual job applicants I received.

1. Email your resume en mass to several companies... On the same email... with all their email addresses visible on the "To" box.

2. Reject the call when the potential employer calls you. Return call during lunchtime when the interviewer is not around. Leave a message that you are a job applicant returning a call. Reject the call again when the interviewer calls back after lunch.

3. Tell the interviewer that you are interested in the position but you can't make it at the appointed time as you have another interview to attend.

4. List the boss of the company you are applying to as one of your references... wait... make that YOUR ONLY REFERENCE in your resume when it's painfully obvious to everyone in that small company that you've only interacted with him a few times as a customer.

5. Turn up at the company and insist on having a walk-in interview. When the manager turns up to politely ask you to "send us your resume and bugger off", plead like those contestants on American Idol who can't sing but wants to be put through to the next round.

6. Ask someone else to apply on your behalf. When your application is ignored because you are not suitable, keep calling repeatedly to speak with the hiring manager. If you are told that your application was rejected on foreign manpower quota grounds, ask your friend to speak to the boss of the company. Call the hiring manager to tell him that (insert director's name) wants to interview you personally. Keep calling the hiring manager persistantly even after your employment pass application was rejected by the Ministry of Manpower.

Morons...


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