Customer Service Excellence

I haven’t been encountering any lunatics at work. Thank God. Maybe it’s because I have been going through my work routine with my mind switched off for the past one month. Anyway… SCHOOL STARTS NEXT WEEK!!!

Have been busy getting my back-to-school supplies. Spent over a hundred bucks so far on a notebook binder, refills and some pens. It was so difficult to find the perfect notebook binder. It’s either they don’t have the right size, right colour or the right number of compartments that suit my liking. I must have scoured half the stationery departments/stores in Singapore. Each time I find something that looks kinda acceptable, I’m so tempted to just buy it while waiting for the right one to come along. (Kind of like dating eh?) Each time I’ll tell myself not to compromise and walk out of the store without buying anything. Those who know me will know the amount of will power that takes.

So there I was at Bugis Junction browsing through the folders and binders when I saw it… a huge range of binder refills and accessories (plastic ziplock add-ons, calendars, etc…) and I lost it completely. I bought a binder notebook that was not the colour (navy blue instead of black) and size (B5 instead of A4) I wanted ($40) and loads of refills ($30).

Then, I made the horrible horrible mistake of stepping into Muji, where I bought even more refills and plastic add-ons which I already bought like 10 minutes ago just because it looks better than the ones I got. All that in 30 minutes.

And now for the *da da da da* GRIPE TIME!!!

Thanks to some extra work days I put in over the last 2 weeks plus some reshuffling of my work schedule, I found myself with 4 off days in a row. So on the first day, I decided to bring my mobile phone (less than 3 months old) to the service centre in Orchard Road to see if they could update the software or something as it sometimes hangs when people tried calling me.

So there I was *do di do di do* decided to go there on a Wednesday afternoon just after lunchtime when I thought it would be less crowded. Boy was I mistaken. Firstly, my bus ride was miserable. I had the “pleasure” of boarding a bus along with a whole bunch of students from the school next to my place which I shall not name. A majority of the students were of the female persuasion and they seemed to be in a very joyous CHATTY mood. One bus stop later, the bus was suddenly packed as a huge group of students from the nearby girls’ school boarded it.

Thus my bus ride was filled with the drone of feminine conversation (which some of them had to do at the top of their voices) punctuated with shrieks of ear-drum bursting laughter and exclamations. What’s more, they all alighted at the same destination as I did.

So there I was, trying to clear my head while walking into the service centre where I was greeted by lots of people waiting. So I took a number and managed to find a seat. The big plasma TV they had there was showing reruns of Mr Bean cartoons so I settled myself in for a wait.

While waiting, my view of the TV was obstructed quite a number of times by people who somehow has the urge to deprive me of any form of entertainment in the waiting room. What’s more, the black looks I try to shoot at them seem to be deflected by their moronic expressions. Thank God I had my PSP with me.

Eventually, after slightly over an hour of waiting, my number was called. To cut a long story short, I was told I had to leave my lifeblood (my phone) with them for a week. I reluctantly agreed and went to get lunch after signing some forms.

For lunch, I decided to pop into Yoshinoya for a beef bowl. The lady at the counter was a foreigner. I also noticed the word “Trainee” on her name tag. From the first few words she spoke, I knew I had to make sure my order was understood as I could hardly understand her speech. So I made it a point to repeat my order for a Large Beef Bowl COMPLETE MEAL. I even checked with her if she understood that. She then asked me what drink I wanted to go with the meal, to which I asked for White Grape (Qoo).

When she rang up my order, I was surprised to find the price lower than what I expected. So I asked her again if it was for the COMPLETE MEAL. She went “Yes. Yes. Yes.”.

When the food was placed in front of me, I was quite stunned to find that she had given me a VALUE MEAL (minus salad and dessert). That was despite me repeating COMPLETE MEAL about 5 times. The thought of not having my phone with me was already affecting me and that added to it. I must have looked really upset cos her supervisor (who was standing right beside her all the while) asked me, “You want the complete meal issit?”

I wanted to say “OF COURSE I WANT THE COMPLETE MEAL YOU BLOODY MORONIC BABOON! THAT’S WHAT I ASKED FOR ISN’T IT?)”

However, all I said was a soft “Yes.” (Anger management at work).

The supervisor then said “If you want I can ask her to refund you.”

I WANT THE FRICKING DESSERT AND SALAD! NOT A BLOODY REFUND!

But I just wasn’t in the mood to haggle so I told her to forget the whole thing and I’ll just accept the food as it was.

So there I was eating the beef bowl (unhappily) lamenting on my bad luck. Then I suddenly remembered that I brought along my old phone (just in case) so I put down my chopsticks and proceeded to insert my SIM card. When I switched the phone on, IT REFUSED TO ACCEPT MY PASSCODE!!! After trying all the different possible combinations, I gave up and took a long drag on my drink… WHICH WAS FANTA GRAPE!!! NOT QOO WHITE GRAPE!!!

I was upset!!! And it being a gloomy drizzle drizzle day didn’t exactly help. I wanted to just abandon my meal which I had hardly touched and walk out. However, my stomach protested so I gobbled down my food while formulating my plan of action. I would rescue my phone from the clutches of the service centre.

As soon as the last morsel of food was swallowed, I took a last sip from the drink I didn’t ask for and proceeded to make my way as stealthily as possible back to the service centre. When I got there, I marched up to the counter but was intercepted by an evil agent of commerce… The By The Book Employee.

I told her that I just wanted to cancel a job order I made about 20 minutes ago. She told me “You have to speak to a CSO” and pointed me in the direction of the cashier.

So I trotted over to the cashier trying to figure out what the heck a CSO was. (I eventually found out it stands for Customer Service Officer. Ha!). There was a “CSO” standing behind the cashier counter apparently attending to 2 guys, so I waited behind them. The CSO then pressed a button and TWO BLACK CLAD EVIL AGENTS, ARMED TO THE TEETH, APPEARED AND DRAGGED ME INTO THE DUNGEON.

Ha ha. Just checking if you’re still awake. Long story today.

Anyway she presses this button and a number flashed on the LCD display. Immediately, another customer went straight up to her, effectively cutting me off. The 2 guys before me were apparently waiting for someone else to retrieve something for them. The CSO however noticed my presence she gave me a look to let me know that she would attend to me as soon as she has dispatched the current customer.

However, the By The Book Employee intercepted the CSO as soon as the customer left and told her to attend to another customer at another counter and she took over the position at the cashier. She then TOTALLY IGNORED ME and proceeded to buzz another 2 customers up to the counter while I stood there like a total moron.

Realizing that the Centre’s defense mechanism was too good, I had no choice but to find an alternative way in… I took another number.

20 minutes later, my number was called and I went to the counter where the By The Book Employee smiled innocently at me. I told her (AGAIN) that I wanted to cancel my job order and she went in to retrieve my phone.

After being reunited with My Precioussssss, I trudged off to the bus stop where I took a bus (filled with the evening rush hour crowd) back to surburbia, my spirit crushed in the face of bad customer service.

I hate going downtown.